What are Core Emotional Needs?
All people have things they need in order to survive and thrive. Usually, when we talk about human needs, we are talking about physical needs–things like food, water, shelter, sleep, and medical care. But people also have emotional needs that we need to meet in order to be healthy.
While some needs vary from person to person, there are certain core emotional needs that everyone, or at least the vast majority of people, need to meet so that we can stay physically and mentally healthy. Here is a list of examples of core emotional needs:
Safety: we all need to feel safe enough from the threat of harm so that we can focus on meeting our other emotional needs, rather than always focusing on avoiding danger.
Reliability: we need people and events in our life to be reliable enough to help us cope with moments of chaos and change.
Structure and Boundaries: setting boundaries for ourselves–and respecting the boundaries of others–helps us build healthy, fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others.
Support: receiving support from people in our lives helps us to be resilient in times of pain and hardship.
Connection: to be healthy, we need regular interactions with other beings, such as people or animals. We also need connection with ourselves, our communities, and nature.
Attunement: all humans need other people to see us for who we are, and to help us feel seen and understood by them, and connected to them.
Freedom of Expression: we all need to be able to express our emotions, thoughts, and experiences to people around us, so we can feel connection and attunement with other humans.
Autonomy and Competence: all people need opportunities to make choices, act independently, and feel a sense of skill and competence in their lives.
Fulfillment and Purpose: we need a sense of fulfillment and purpose in our lives to feel satisfied, and to stay motivated to live our lives and care for our wellbeing.
Stimulation and Engagement: our brains need to be stimulated and engaged with other people, activities, or information, to help develop our thinking skills, and feel fulfilled.
Play and Fun: we all need opportunities to act on instinct, to be creative, and to explore and experiment in our worlds, to help us feel happy and fulfilled.
Soothing and Comfort: all humans experience pain, discomfort, fear, and stress in our lives, and at these times, we need to receive soothing and comfort from ourselves and others.
All people are unique, so the words that we use to describe our needs often vary from person to person. Instead of focusing on the exact words, think about the general ideas these words are describing. Maybe you have different words to describe these needs and how they show up in your life. That is totally fine!